In Bloom: My Fairy Magic Phal

The final remaining bloom of this small and magical phalaenopsis

A small, hardy phalaenopsis held on to her last bloom for several weeks this year. I have started to capture what is blooming in my home going forward to help me record each plant for when they enter dormancy later. Some of my orchids were obtained without any identification, so for most like this I have had to issue them names that can help me remember which ones they are until I can identify them officially.

This gal got placed in one of my favorite pots due to her coloration

This gal got placed in one of my favorite pots due to her coloration

While other orchids were blooming or staying dormant still, this little one soldiered on with her one bloom. Standing with a kind of simple dignity, she grew an appreciation from me of this small plant who held her one bloom as if she had thirty. She dries out faster than the other orchids, so I give her extra sips between weekly dunks in the watering buckets.

It might have been the fantasy cozy books I was reading that week, but until I can determine her type, I am calling her fairy magic for now.

Her petals are just as lovely from either side

I have a slew of orchids in bloom just now (the majority of my collection), so I may or may not get to capturing all of them this way, but it’s fun to describe what I can!

American Kestrel Rescue

Female American Kestrel taking a break from hunting

Occasionally we see American Kestrels flying close to our house, riding the wind currents as they hunt small bugs and critters in the grass and scrub. On this day a few weeks ago, we had two, even though I only was able to take good pictures of one.

Female kestrel moving from fence post to post across the pasture

The last few weeks, we have watched them move from the corral, the rail fences, and barbed wire fences as they hunted the pasture and draws. Swooping into the prairie grass they targeted and enjoyed filling their bellies. This female stayed busy – ever alert and never resting.

Female American Kestrel preening and cleaning after a productive hunt

It has to be challenging to be both predator and prey. Their small size means they cannot relax like the large hawks, owls, and local golden or bald eagles can. I’ve never seen them resting or sleeping.

Female kestrel moving from fence post to post across the pasture

When I took these photos in the last several weeks, I had no idea what challenges awaited and came to a head these last few days for these birds or their soon-to-be family.

Female American Kestrel taking flight to hunt again

The afternoon of June 30th, I began to hear the familiar chirping of a bird in our chimney area that made my stomach drop. You see, we’ve had a long struggle with birds finding their way into our roof or chimney walls and falling into the sections around or down the pipe of our two-sided propane fireplace. Often, they fall into the side cavities of the firebox itself (which is far harder to make a rescue from).

Not being able to withstand listening to a creature die of hunger or injury, my husband had previously cut out holes in our drywall behind our tall baseboards to retrieve the ones that fell that far down. This week though, the sounds of baby chicks of some description were above the fireplace box and behind our mantle – taller than our retrieval holes down near the floor.

Most unfortunately, their chirps were above metal protective plating that ran across the propane firebox. This was a problem. They were not in the chimney pipe – they were outside of it but boxed into the walls around it.

I called our local Game and Fish warden and also was in touch with a northern Colorado-based raptor center for help, and despite many photos sent, no one could figure how to extract them.

Once my husband was home from work that night, and with my agreement, he went to work tearing a hole through the metal plating to hopefully get them to exit to a space our hands could reach. We never use the fireplace and it’s summer – so there is time to make repairs later. When that didn’t produce a hole big enough, he next used a crow bar to bend in the chimney pipe inward from the small hole he had punched in the metal plate, effectively widening it.

Fireplace with heat blowing up the airway to keep the hidden nestlings warm until we could navigate the metal structure (green) after we cut a hole in it (yellow). The birds’ chirping kept moving and we had not pinned down their locations yet. We were readying a blanket on the opposite side to keep any birds that might drop into the firebox from hitting that side of the glass.

My hopes were falling around 10p.m. when we realized we were dealing with downy and white kestrel nestlings whose nest had fallen down the chimney somehow. These are federally protected birds as well. Too small and not coordinated enough to waddle easily to the hole we made for them. Our arms couldn’t reach into the space below the hole either. All we could do was hope that they would see light through the hole and smell the red meat we had tweezered into a pile below it and drop down.

My husband went to bed, having done all he could and being the one of us that leaves nature to be what it is. Unable to lay in bed and listen to their cries, I set up in the recliner to watch the hole for the night.

Around midnight, the sound of chirping was louder. I opened my eyes and saw that one had fallen through our hole to a reachable space! I moved to the fireplace with my ready container and scooped it into my hand and into the box. A feisty thing, it immediately began gaping for food. Success! We had one!

A bug box did the tricker with soft toilet paper (I later changed this to shredded paper towels), and half on a heating pad on low and half off so the nestling could move if too hot/cold.

Thus began an all night watch of the nestling in the container now. After deep reading of what to feed a kestrel nestling, I had defrosted some elk meat and chopped it so fine, it was more a cream than fibers of meat. It had to be close to what a parent would eat then regurgitate into the nestling’s mouth – it was the best I could do and still have something grabbable by plastic tweezers.

The first American Kestrel nestling rescue – a little dusty from where it was stuck but already gaping for food and very feisty (a good sign!)

Guidance I found said to feed no more than % of the baby’s body weight but to feed every 2-3 hours. This also noted if a chick was too far gone, too much food without hydration would kill it. I decided to follow my instinct and gave it 4-5 small drops of pulverized meat. I know it wasn’t enough on the whole, but better to start small than kill it with too much food if it was too dehydrated. The goal was to keep it alive long enough to get it to the game warden or a raptor center the next day.

The nestling gobbled it down like it was water. It cried for more, but it likely didn’t know when to stop either. So we paused there. And thus began the horrible wait for the second chick to follow it’s sibling down the hole.

After a night of zero sleep and a lot of coffee in the morning, I logged in for work (I work from home). The raptor specialists stayed in touch with me through the end of their emergency hours and gave me advice on how to handle the little chick in hand too.

The next day we worked with our wonderful game warden and he came out, picked up the rescued chick but said there was unfortunately no good solutions for the last chick. He took the rescued chick to a local vet that did health certifications and this released the chick to travel across state lines to the Colorado-based raptor center right away.

The remaining nestling was getting weaker and it’s chirps were fainter and less frequent by now going over 24 hours with no food or parent body warmth. I said some prayers for it, however this played out. I played kestrel calls and chirps from a phone app to hopefully keep it’s will to live going until my husband and I would make a last decision on just how much home damage we were willing to do to the fireplace and chimney walls to save it. (Context – we had just shelled out a significant five figure sum for exterior home repairs for damage made by flickers to our stucco surfacing two weeks prior).

Kestrel chick 1 was located behind the green tiles and managed to drop through a hole that meant we could grab it from between the black metal openings below. Kestrel chick 2 ended up being found higher behind and slightly below these additional square holes we drilled.

After a brief deliberation, we both agreed to pull off the mantle. Thank goodness it was only wood glued in place and popped right off with minimal damage (it would be easy to put back in place). My husband got to cutting out holes where the mantel would hide the damage and FINALLY, we pulled out the last nestling nearly 48 hours after it first fell from the roof.

Baby kestrel 2 was in far worse condition and much smaller than its sibling. I microwaved socks to place around it as well as the low heating pad. It would not touch the little flecks of elk meat I tried to offer it in the pic above.

It was so small, and it could barely move or lift its head and it was still blind with eyes closed. It was so small compared to its more vivacious sibling. And it chirped far less often and much softer. It was clear, its strength was all but gone. In touch with the raptor center much of the evening, I increased the heat slightly and added more soft comfort for this one. It would not touch any meat puree at all and ate nothing. This one was on borrowed time.

The next morning, now two nights with no sleep under my belt and not enough coffee in the world, I logged into work at my usual 6 a.m. The raptor center reached out and noted it was time to move and that we could not wait for the vet clinic’s health visit this time. I alerted the game warden what the plan was from the wildlife center. I drove the little chick to the Wyoming border and met a raptor representative in a suburban full of veterinary supplies and comforts. The gentleman immediately got to work warming the chick, handed me case number documentation and sped the bird to the clinic a half hour away.

That was Thursday the 2nd and since then, we’ve heard word that the first chick was doing well and eating like a champ. The raptor center asked us to wait until Monday at the earliest to check in on the state of the smaller chick. So, we’ve rested up here at the house, repaired the mantel and the fireplace as best we can until pro work is done and cleaned up the mess. Looking forward to getting an update on what happened with the little one soon and hope truly, no more rescues are necessary ever again.

A Second Round

Every few years, I catch something of an upper respiratory nature and it hands me a humbling dose of reality as to how low my immune system has become. In a prior post I shared I had caught some kind of crud / cold / infection (insert whatever non-diagnosed descriptor you have here). After 2-3 weeks, I began to mend and felt nearly back to normal. But alas, it wasn’t really gone.

A few days later, those familiar joint aches, temperature fluctuations, and coughing spasms came back but this time, with a vengeance. Round two included chest rattling wheezing and coughing. Sleep disappeared again for two weeks.

I pulled a muscle in my back and around my ribs from the incessant coughing fits that woke me multiple times each night and made virtual work meetings impossible. Needless to say, it’s been a long time since I’ve been that sick. Fortunately, this time I avoided throat pain.

A quick S.O.S to my primary care physician brought me harder-hitting medications, antibiotics, and nebulizer treatments to get me through it. It was a struggle still, as if the chest wheezing and horrible sounding coughs were not going down without a fight. Despite crossing the line of having taking all the antibiotics for three weeks, I still had a cough no one wanted to be around.

I am back on my feet (again), this time hopefully for good. It was a ride I don’t want to take again, but I’m also grateful an upper respiratory was all it was. Things can always be worse.

You First

Daily writing prompt
What is something you wish you could tell your 20-year-old self?

When you are out there in the world, living on your own and paying your own bills for the first time – prioritize you first. Your dreams, savings, free time, adventures and travel – put you first. Let the relationships and career building come after. Get to know yourself before anyone or anything else.

Build a savings strategy for retirement for you first. See how it’s feeling when it’s going forward over the years.

Spend free nights and weekends with yourself first. See what YOU like doing before you start adapting to other people’s time.

Dream for yourself alone, first. Fortify your future vision with your heart’s desires, always, first.

Take trips (sometimes) just for yourself. See where your own wanderlust takes you before you follow other people’s agendas.

Journal. Just let it flow and see what you notice and what is underneath all the things.

Learn about the progress you are making and the changes you are seeing before you try changing someone else.

Decorate for yourself first. Sure, change your preferences repeatedly. See how they all feel in time.

Determine your own style first. Wear it. Change it up. Learn how you feel when you present yourself in different ways. Discover new versions of you.

Try to develop skills yourself first, then lean on other people if they are better, later. You might be surprised what you are good at.

I wish, looking back, I could have had the foresight to know that a sense of personal achievement would not come from finally having a marriage or a certain amount of money or a level of job title. Trusting that if I had all these pieces in place, all the sense of peace and happiness would follow, was a mistake. I am fortunate that in the future, I didn’t lose everything or fall entirely apart as a result. But I sure struggled and hurt more than I probably had to.

For any twenty-something folks out there reading this too: Hang on to all those dreams and wishes of the list above when it pertains to other people, relationships, careers and money. For sure, it’s not all bad. But when you get the choice early on to start investing your time, your dollars, your energy or your someday vision of happiness on other things – take that opportunity to do it for you first. It’s amazing how much easier and enjoyable the rest will follow if you build that awareness with yourself first.

Handling Fear & Self-Doubt

Daily writing prompt
How do you handle fear and self-doubt?

Handling fear and self-doubt, for me, come down to understanding what these really are in moments I feel them.

Fear should be a useful and intelligent emotion that results in safety and remaining alive and well. It may not be a pleasant feeling in the moment, but it is valuable and a signal not to be ignored. Over time, wisdom and experience helps refine fear into a sharp tool of benefit we thoughtfully listen to.

Self-doubt is a finicky emotion, often masquerading as other deeper emotions or histories needing further contemplation. When I doubt myself, I try to examine it and peel back a layer to see what is underneath the lack of confidence in myself. Is it having to untangle a long history of being made to believe I was wrong when I really right? Is it a deeper experience that long ago made me lose faith in myself? Or could it be an easy avoidance to doing the next right thing?

Mainly, handling emotions like these come down to understanding the feelings and seeing them for what they are / are not, instead of drowning in an ocean of anxiety and overwhelm.

Fighting the Crud

For the last 2-3 weeks, I’ve been the lucky winner of catching whatever this crud is that’s floating around. Fever, sore throat, chest congestion and a deep airway cough that could wake the dead, it has been awful.

One bright light through all of it has been the best little helper a sick person could wish for: Fury. This little girl has stuck with her human through it all. Even when I had to relocate downstairs in our basement guest room so that my husband could sleep while I coughed up a lung each night, my furry caretaker stayed glued to me, sleeping between my ankles.

I am so grateful to be doing better and back to work. The sooner my airways feel back to normal, the better. But it’s good to know my sweet girl is a constant companion, no matter how bad I get (or sound). We truly do not deserve our fur family members – what a sweet and loyal soul Fury is.

If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans.

– James Harriot